my lovely sailor:

How's the sea these days? How's the manly crew of that ship?
How're the many citys you visit? Hope you don't get lonely out there.
Here in the big city everything's always the same, ships come and go
but you don't seem to be in any of them lately.
Yet don't think I get bored, the theaters are showing
the more marvelous plays, and I always wound up finding someone
who'll take me out for a nice ride.
As to the mater of this letter, besides of course greeting you,
we didn't get to talk last time you were in land,
your ship had to sale away so quickly you left in the middle of the night.
I must be honest with you, because I have for you the deepest affection,
and I'd hate to see you confused later.
So, my lovely sailor, I'll be your girl in town anytime the waves bring you this way,
but the wispers, the white tissue and the waiting,
the interminable waiting..
It's just not for a city girl like me.
I know better than to love a sailor man, who's only loves are the sea, the freedom and himself.
With that said, let me know the next time you're in town.
If I'm free, if I had the time, perhaps we could have a little fun.
Perhas you'll even say goodbye this once.

With the sincerest affection,
your City's girl.

tentaciones.

son muchas cosas las que tengo. y son las que hacen a mi felicidad y estabilidad.
y si no lo pienso, la verdad es que no necesito nada mas.
y es verdad, no necesito nada mas.
pero si lo pienso, recuerdo que hay una cosa que no tengo.
recuerdo lo bien que se siente.
recuerdo que lo quiero, que lo.. extraño. que es mucho.
y que estoy tan cansada.
y teniendolo al alcance de la mano es una tentacion inexplicable.
saber que con una palabra basta para sentirme asi de segura, querida, completa.
saber que no es buena idea. que no, encanto, no, no..
que nos va a volver a destruir. que no va a funcionar porque..
ya sabemos como funcionamos.
que nacen tantas cosas maravillosas de elegir el no.
nace esta relacion maravillosa nuestra.
nace esta fuerza, toda esa lista de cosas. las ganas, la voluntad.
no es solo por nosotros, es principalmente por mi.
yo no puedo dejar todas las cosas que me hacen bien por.. eso.
y ahi es donde reside la verdadera fuerza de voluntad.
en decirnos no cada vez.
pero a veces, vida, se hace tan dificil.
tal vez con otras personas no tenga que ser asi.
tal vez en otras relaciones podamos no dejar todo lo demas.
tal vez solo nos queremos demaciado, no?
eso espero. porque quisiera creer que voy a poder dejarme sentir eso otra vez.
que voy a poder descanzar.

down to the facts.

my stuff:
- the band.

that's happy! and new. and usefull. we need a name, and a drummer, and some songs of our own.
- photography thing.
it's still not the easyest, but i'm learning. let's download and recharge.
- our short film.
i think it could be amazing. and it'd do us so much good.

personal stuff:
- the sexuallity thing.
gotta find out.
- poni.
i'll do my best to get you back on your feed dear.
- hon.
sad best friend = alcohol, distractions and bright colours.
- the growing thing.
keep learning from your mistakes, maybe some day i'll stop making the same ones.

work stuff:
- the big movie.
so intresting in a personal level, as in a proffesional level.
- the small movie.
terrible timing, but it's gotta be done.
- the groups thing.
not only would i actually know people about my age, but it's got great growing possibilities.

afirmative action

"que estas haciendo con tu vida, mujer?".. ese fue el punto de partida. en realidad no, en realidad fue la mezcla de licor, jazz y chicago.
filosofia, orgullo y ya fue.
y muchos dias en ese lugar. (no volver por un laargo rato, eh)
dedidida a dejar de ser una larva, a dejar de permititme usar el estado post-post-break up como excusa, me pase la mañana sin dormir. hice la pertinente lista, y alli voy.
cargue las pilas, desempolve la camara y me puse a sacar. claro que no tenia mucho con que trabajar, pero necesitamos la practica. encuadre, color, luz. pulso (necesario).
y mucho poder de decision. oh si.
arme un cd con las fotos que ya tenia, y las imprimi.
tan lindas. oh tan lindas.
calente unos ñoquis de semola, genial.
ya se pondra mas tecnica la cosa. y experimentare filmando, que no es lo mismo.
ya tendre modelos con los que tengo confianza.
ya ganare confianza con los demas.
(i love pictures in bed)
pero si me voy a sentar a esperar que pase, puedo estar toda la vida.
y si me hace feliz, vale el esfuerzo que tengo que ponerle.
tal vez sin el esfuerzo no me haria feliz.

who knew?

if it wouldn't atract me so much, your gigantic ego would annoy me, a lot.
if you knew me at all, you'd know i'm not half as passive as i look.
yet if you knew me at all, what would be the catch?
if you weren't so fucking proud and full of yourself, we'd know what the hell are we getting into.
yet if you were clearer, i wouldn't be this hooked.
if you didn't demand so much of me, my ego would apreciate it.
yet if you weren't so defying, i wouln't have gotten out of my stuck.
if you didn't blew my mind so often, i could think what i say long enough to blow yours.
yet, you show intress more often that you'd like to, i think.

this songs of freedom

There is something really very odd in this whole
"me sitting here alone for no apparent reason"
situation.
There is something almost mistical, some sort of a "revival experience"
somewhat of a "deja-vu".
Well i don't know i think it's got it's magic.
Some kind of "nostalgic charm" to it.
It's not just the poetic of this place. There's something
about me in it, about this "whole".
It's almost like it wouldn't matter al all.
Like none of the small situation-scenes had no real meaning
for themselves, but only as to make the "whole".
Like the "people-to-people" were completaly superfluous.
And it is in some way. It doesn't matter who's singing,
only to what that little sound reminds me to in this exact place.